Tintin: The movie

Before reading this post, you should follow the link here, and give yourself a sense of context.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/03/08/entertainment/e220124S64.DTL

Then, you should be for warned that the following is a nerdy diatribe of epic and probably incriminating proportions. You should probably also know that Herge is the author of the original Tintin Comics. Though you might have gotten that from the above article...

So, for those of you who don’t know, I wrote the final paper for my history major about Tintin. To sum it up: I think Tintin is useful as a historical snapshot because Herge captures, not necessarily the countries and the people that Tintin visits, but the Belgian CONCEPTIONS of what those characters might look at. This is mostly in reference to Herge’s early stuff, because as the European conception of the other became more P.C. during and after the World War, so did he evolve as an author. Anyway, I mostly tackled his first few books, and the early evolution of him as a writer, but I also tried to get into why Tintin succeeded as a character and as a series of stories. (A huge part of this was Herge's talent as an artist, and as a researcher for visual accuracy) Thus, the new movie that Spielberg’s company is tackling is fantastically exciting… But also fraught with peril for a nerd like me.

Tintin as a character embodies a certain series of things, but he never really shows much of a character beyond these basic concepts. He’s the boy scout motto writ large: helpful, trustworthy, smart, honest, hardworking. He hates cheaters, liars, and any sort of foul play. His curiosity gets him in trouble, but his intelligence and quick thinking get him out again (plus a good dose of luck). I would say his success is what made Superman an early success. He had all the qualities anyone (read: any young boy in Tintin’s case) could want, so everyone could read a little of themselves into him. Perfect for a Cartoon Hero who’s main role was allowing Herge to explore countries and criminals without leaving his comfy chair back in Belgium.

However, Tintin never shows powerful human emotion. For every bit he is Superman, he’s no Batman. His Pathos rating is a big ol Zero. He’s never jealous, and only rarely angry (and never irrationally so, its always if someone violates the boy scout creed). He cries only twice, and both in the same book: Tintin in Tibet, in two frames, both when he thinks his friend Chang might be dead. He is, essentially incredibly boring.

Also, all of his friends are male. There’s a drunk (and vaguely creepy) sea Captain, who might be a father figure or a foil for Tintin’s straight arrow nature. There is an absent minded and hard of hearing professor. There are two blundering detectives, who are never on the right track. After Herge gets over his race issues and starts writing characters of other backgrounds (after Tintin and the Blue Dragon, and the introduction of Chang), there are a series of well connected leaders from each of the countries that Tintin visits that are impressed by his honesty and forthrightness and treat him as a friend. I can’t think of many females in that cast, but there might be a few I’m forgetting. There is the Opera singer, and there’s a beautiful Gypsy woman, but each of these people are already in love with someone who is not Tintin. In fact, I never got the impression that Herge realized that Tintin was male. He’s so bland as to be asexual, and the closest I think he gets is with his growing friendship with the Chang. And that’s a HUGE stretch.

So, the question is, can a character with literally no emotional depth, and no interest in sexual appeal be a Hollywood character? Clearly, they can (See: Reeves, Keanu) but I don’t see a way that a straight interpretation of Tintin really works in live action. Just Blockbusting this thing up with special effects and making him into an Indiana Jones character wont work, hes not original enough, with out Herge's amazing artwork, for the stories to keep their heads above water. Can you imagine a Hardy Boys movie? Oh god, please no. This leaves us with, as I see it, two options.

One: Stay the hell away from live action, and spruce up all the other characters around him so that he is a blank canvas and the rest of the characters are interacting on him. This is basically the model that the Comic book takes, but I just have this feeling that this isn’t revolutionary enough for Spielberg. I can’t see him really interested in a faithful rendition of the Tintin stories, because im not sure that puts enough of his stamp. Bland character, different foible types bouncing off him, getting him in trouble, only to have him save the day. So, unless he totally re-invents how animation looks or works, not sure that any one adventure story is going to be enough. He would have to inject something really cool and revolutionary to the style.

Or Two, and this is the bit that I find exciting, imbue Tintin with a psychological explanation for the ways that he interacts with the universe. Fill in some back story (clearly what they will have to do to give the story any Hollywood arch at all) and tell us why he never really connects with anyone around him. Create a character that is curious and interested in traveling the world, and who is driven by a sense of fair play, but who is completely unable to display powerful emotion. I realize that I am describing a movie that I will hate when I see it, because it’s a nearly Herculean task, but wouldn’t it be cool if we got a movie that established the emotionless hero, but then delved into what made him tick? I don’t know that you can capture each and every book, or the wanderlust that Herge had as an author, in one movie, so why not go in a totally different direction? Why not assume that we have read the books, and try and figure out why Tintin will throw himself into a river to save a drowning boy, but never really consider a woman? I’m prepared for something totally different, but if I was given a movie with the background of Tintin, I would try and capture what happens to the Boy scout who, at the end of the day, chooses to keep going home alone with his dog Snowy and move away from equally strong and likable characters. There is only room for one hero in Herge’s Tintin, and I want to know why.